There has been and continues to be frenzied discussion over the issue of global warming. The shrill voices of the environmentalist fringe have successfully prodded the governments of the world into action. And, like most undertakings of government, the results are mis-guided and will probably cause far more harm than good.

First, if we believe that the planet is heating up, ( here in Michigan we’ve had an unusually severe and cold winter) we are then oblidged to figure out why. Why? Because that’s human nature just as denial of the facts once we arrive at them.

Scientists believe that holes in the ozone layer are a recent and man-make development that accounts for the increase in wordwide temperature.

Historically speaking, however, scientists acknowledge that the Earth has undergone several cycles of heating and cooling over the millenia, accounting perhaps for the extinction of the dinasaurs as well as many other animal and plant species.

It may just be that our timing is bad. The party may be over. Its time to go into the spare bedroom, sort through all the coats on the bed and go home.

Now, I’ve considered other possible causes for the warming of the planet. Think about this, every human being on the planet has a body temperature nearly 100 degrees. If you’ve ever been at a wedding reception at a hall in January in Michigan, you’ll know that by midnight the doors of the place will be propped open because of the heat generated in the room.

The Earth’s population continues to skyrocket as well as the humanized areas where we live. Large cities with expansive concrete and asphalt surfaces capture heat throughout the daylight hours and hold onto it through the night.

That’s why when you hear weather reports, the temperature is always at least a few degrees higher in the city. Add to this the high concentration of people, you have the recipe for global warming.

When I was a kid, my mom told me to wear a hat when I went outside in the winter. She said that you lose most of your body heat through the top of your head when you don’t have a hat on.

Now think about this, there are 2 billion people in China and almost none of them are wearing a hat!

Thanks for playing along…

Billy Ray

Well, today is my birthday.  I’m 52. Now they can’t say I’m not playing with a full deck.

Its the full dick you can’t play with at my age unless you go running for the shelter of daddy’s little helper.

But be careful, erections lasting more than 4 hours are a serious health risk and should be seen by a medical professional.

That’s bullshit. A 4 hour erection will not hurt me. Hell, from the age of 14 until I was 28, I had an erection.

Now I wake up in the morning and every bone in my body is stiff except for the one my wife was hoping for.

A 4 hour erection I can live with but if I end up sitting in a bath tub out in the yard, I might have to give up the Viagra.

My wife will soon be 50. She’s worried about osteoporosis. She mentioned seeing a commercial on TV. Sally Field was selling something called “Boniva”.

They must be running out of good names for these drugs. Boniva sounds like something you might want to do on a Saturday night. I’m going to bone Eva tonight but first I have to “Cialis”…..

Thanks for playing along……

Billy Ray

I just found out that my Yahoo hosted website has been shut down by the cybernetic lifeforces of the a fore-mentioned internet entity. I do not say people at Yahoo as I’m not really sure there are any.

First the story. In January my wife noticed that Yahoo had billed me twice for web hosting services. We tried to call  Yahoo’s billing department but each time the call wait was over an hour so we e-mailed them and received a prepared response from someone or something at Yahoo that did not address the problem.

So, my wife contacted our charge card company and had the second charge removed. It was then that the dark forces of Yahoo descended upon my website, snuffing out all vestiges of its once peaceful existence. All its charm and personality, not to mention, 15 cartoons I had drawn that existed nowhere but on the website, parished in the hostile shutdown.

Subsequently, I called Yahoo and waited one hour and forty minutes for a live person to pick up the call. Unfortunately during the wait, Yahoo played selected Kenny G tracks, which only served as kindling for my already overheated temper.

The live person who did speak perfect english with no discernable accent was apparently but a lowly pawn of the vast, dark empire known as Yahoo Webhosting.

He dogmatically barked out the company’s policies regarding credit card disputes and seemed to take sadistic pleasure at my growing anger. Only then did I realize that this dark empire, this alien lifeform was feeding on my rage just like that thing in the Star Trek episode.

Now today I received an e-mail from Yahoo. It was a customer survey asking for feedback on my customer service experience. Apparently, the dark empire is of two minds and each is unaware of the day to day existence  of the other. First Hyde, now Dr. Jeckyl. Each toying with me in their own way.

So, to make a long story short, you must now come here to Myspace for information about my whereabouts and to view video clips of my other marginally sane rants.

Thanks for playing along…

BRB